Hostile Takeover, Inc.

Command the office floor as an embattled CEO in a satirical top-down action tower defense. Hire employee towers, build offices, and fight off waves of disgruntled enemy employees each fiscal quarter. Then survive the hostile takeover that decides your fate!

Now Hiring: Chief Executive Officer

MegaCorp Holdings LLC is pleased to announce an exciting leadership opportunity for a results-driven executive with a passion for resource allocation, crisis management, and personally surviving the consequences of their own company policy.

Hostile Takeover, Inc. is corporate "leadership" at its most predatory and least competent. And you're holding the wheel.

Prior experience not required. Prior ethics strongly discouraged.

Key Responsibilities

Fight on the office floor in person against 18 unique and varied enemy types, as they attempt to resolve themselves against your hit points.

Choose amongst 7 different executives to play as, each with their own unique charm and detriments.

Hire from 15 specialized employee towers, including Interns, Engineers, Lawyers, Consultants, Recruiters, Headhunters, and other legally distinct workplace hazards.

Manage capital, salaries, promotions, terminations, and the occasional company-wide strike caused by your own payroll decisions.

Build offices across five departments to unlock company-wide buffs, grow your Golden Parachute reserves, and paint larger targets on company property.

Enjoy Infinite Profits, an endless survival mode allowing the use of absurd gameplay modifiers.

Survive  encounters from 4 challenging bosses, then choose powerful Board Packet initiatives that may or may not be blessings in disguise.

Trigger the final hostile takeover, where three brutal waves attack from concentrated fronts and your surviving offices decide your payout.

Executive Authority

Your CEO is not just a cursor in a suit. Your aura of micromanagement damages enemies, collects loot, and buffs nearby towers, forcing you to choose between safe movement and front-line supervision.

Every tower costs capital. Every promotion increases payroll. Every office makes you stronger, richer, and more vulnerable. If your capital drops below zero, your towers go on strike, because even in a satire game, employees demand a steady paycheck.

Compensation & Benefits

MegaCorp offers a competitive Golden Parachute package, payable in proportion to your ability to avoid Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.

Benefits include:

Performance-based capital acquisition.

Premium corner offices.

36 professional development opportunities, disguised as level-up choices.

Board-approved fiscal-year difficulty escalations.

A hostile work environment in the most literal possible sense.

Preferred Qualifications

Able to convert panic into policy.

Familiarity with tower defense, survivor-like action, and pretending that layoffs are strategy.

Willingness to hover uncomfortably close to your employees until they become measurably more productive.

Ability to maintain shareholder confidence while everything around you catches fire.

Equal Opportunity Statement

MegaCorp Holdings LLC is an equal opportunity employer, in the sense that all applicants will be equally blamed for systemic failure.

Apply today!

Your desk is ready.

Your employees are not.